Do you struggle with having feelings of anger, resentment, or, hate from a situation that has happened to you? Perhaps you have those feelings towards a person for some reason and you aren’t quite sure how to overcome them. Well I have news for you! There are ways to let go of those feelings and overcome them, even if it seems nearly impossible. I have experienced many of those feelings for a majority of my life and in recent years, I have overcome them.
As a child I was constantly picked apart and bullied for my appearance and being different. I was very thin due to my high metabolism, and when the kids at school saw me, they would always point out my appearance. I was called names such as Ethiopian, stick figure, and many more appalling names that affected my self-esteem for a long majority of my life. Not only that but, I lost my father at a young age. I had also experienced a lot of things that the “average” child probably didn’t experience. The way I coped due to this was having an overactive imagination and drawing a lot at school and home. I also wrote a lot of stories because I would think as if I was the character that I was writing about in my story. Another thing I did was, in elementary school, I would lie to people that my name wasn’t actually Katie and that it was actually some name from a fairy tale story. All of this was due to the fact that I was always wanting to be anyone but myself because the people that did this to me growing up caused me a lot of self-hatred, not understanding why I was treated the way I was for looking the way I did. I didn’t even think I looked all that bad. They made me hate being in my own skin. These insecurities are things I still occasionally struggle with but not as bad due to the fact that I have filled out and I have learned to love myself. The bullying lasted through middle school.
I was constantly being called “weird” and as I grew up, I always tried to figure out why people thought this about me. When a child uses coping mechanisms that they don’t even realize are coping mechanism for them, they don’t tend to see what “odd” things they’re doing because to them, it’s their reality. Eventually, the bullying got so bad that I was forced to change schools to a private school. After switching schools, I became profusely happier being around so many kind and supportive people. My self-confidence began to grow. Although it wasn’t 100% there, it was an improvement compared to how I had felt about myself. I still struggled with my appearance, and I began to wear hair extensions and makeup to cover up every imperfection that I thought I had. It took me until my sophomore year of high school to start completely loving myself for me. I started feeling comfortable not wearing any makeup, although it was still fun to wear. I let my natural hair down and started to accept myself the way I was. Today, I am very confident and I love myself and the people whom I surround myself with. It’s easy to get caught up in crowds trying to fit in, even if they belittle you. Surround yourself with people that constantly make you feel like you’re on top of the world.
Eventually, after I began loving myself, I started to forgive the people who had tried so hard to belittle me. After I forgave them, my happiness sky rocketed. I no longer felt the hatred that had burned so heavily in my heart. Holding anger and resentment towards other people is like injecting yourself with poison and waiting for them to die. There’s no point in it. Don’t let people get to you and love yourself because every single one of you are beautifully, unique, human beings. Even if you don’t feel like there’s anything special about you. I promise that there is and I hope that this blog has helped you to realize that. Everyone has the potential to accomplish astonishing things in their life.
Let go of the anger and resentment that you hold towards anyone and just start loving yourself and everyone around you. Having love for people you used to hate is a great thing. I’m not saying that you ever have to communicate with those people ever again, but having a genuine love for everyone, bad or good, will help you to become a more loving and forgiving person. The type of love I’m talking about isn’t the type of love that you love your parents, friends, or, boyfriend with. However, more of a love for forgiving and forgetting them for your own mental and personal sake. So love other people and love yourself because you’re stuck with yourself for the rest of your life so you might as well enjoy it!
TASK:
If any of my readers are struggling with self-confidence issues, what I would like you to do for 30 days is to sit down once a day, everyday and list all the things you like about yourself, even if you don’t believe it. If you start to write down the things you like about yourself and what other people like about you, you will eventually begin to believe it. Also, write on a piece of paper “I’m beautiful” and tape it onto the mirror in your bathroom or somewhere where you will frequently see it.
TASK 2:
Dealing with resentment issues and anger towards people? I found that writing once a day for 30 days (or more) about all the people in your life that make you feel great about yourself or the things you love in life and creating the feeling of gratitude for them, turns any hate or resentment in your heart that you have into love. Feeling grateful everyday for everything great in your life is medicine for your soul.
Hope this helps!
-Katie
Influencing Thought 