How To Deal With Tough Times In Your Life Using Gratitude

I’m sure all of you have had a situation happen to you that changes your life and how you feel as if you’ll never be the same or happy again.

It all started when I was a child. I was taken to my grandmother’s home because my mother was out of state. I stayed at my grandmothers for approximately 6 months until my mother was able to return home. During those six months, I was informed of some of the hardest news that I would have to figure out how to deal with for the rest of my life.

My grandmother told my brother and I to get ready because she was taking us somewhere. I could tell that her countenance spoke of extreme sorrow and I could feel my curiosity burning inside of my chest. As we got situated in the car and drove off, I remember watching all of the trees and tall buildings passing by just as the minutes and seconds were before I found out the wretched news.

We arrived at a small vanilla colored building. We walked inside and into an office looking room and we all sat down. A man dressed in a suit and tie told us the horrible news. My father, whom was a depressed alcoholic, had made the decision to end his life. The reason my grandmother took my brother and I to see a specialist to tell us the news was because my brother frequently had meltdowns due to his Asperger Syndrome. The specialist held a syringe in which I’m assuming was some sort of tranquilizer because my grandmother thought that my brother wouldn’t take the news of our father’s passing very well. However, my brother stayed calm and collected and helped me through the harsh time. He has always been my rock to lean on in times of need and I will forever be grateful for that.

Anyways, I remember feeling numb and thinking about all the occasions that my father would miss out on such as my birthdays, holidays, and, walking me down the isle at my wedding. Like I previously mentioned, my mother was out of state and therefore, she was not able to be there when we were informed of the horrible news. My mom wanted to be there for us and came back as soon as she could.

As I got older, I struggled with the fact that my father was gone and never coming back. In a strong way, I felt betrayed because he was selfish enough to leave all of us here. I felt as if he didn’t love us and didn’t think of us while he made his appalling decision to end his life. Every year on August 1st I became extremely depressed knowing that August 1st was the day he made that awful decision to end his life. Every year, I dreaded my dad’s birthday or Father’s Day because it reminded me that my father was gone and that I would not see him again. Father’s day also made me feel envious to people that did have a father. However, as each year passed, it did get a lot easier and I got to the point where on Father’s Day, I began not to feel so sad. In fact, I felt appreciative to all the people that had amazing fathers. There is always a brighter side to be looked upon.

To this day, I feel as if the wound of my father’s passing has finally healed. Of course, I will always miss him, but I know that I will forever be grateful that I still have my amazing mother.

Sometimes things happen that are out of our control, whether it be you or someone you love and cherish. We may not understand why things happen and why sometimes it may feel like the world is out to stomp on you and crumple you to the ground like a piece of paper. However, ways that can help you get through the world crumpling times are

• Take life in stride
• Take life with a grain of salt and a shot of tequila (Just kidding on that last part)
• Take life as it comes at you
• have a quiet spot that helps you be at peace and let you be alone with your thoughts

One of the best ways that will help and further benefit you in your time of need, is to meditate. It will help to clear your mind and reset your brain to where you feel fresh and new again.

However, When a situation happens that makes you feel  as if it has completely destroyed your happiness and you feel as if you will never overcome it, take a step back and count your blessings. Noticing everything that may be going right for you in your life will help you take a step toward happiness. For instance, if you are upset because for some reason you don’t like your job, then take a step back and just feel grateful that you even have a job. A way to better yourself and your happiness is to sit down once a day and list 10 things you’re happy and grateful for on a piece of paper. Start by saying, “I am so happy and grateful now that….” because how can you be sad if you notice all the things that are going right for you and being grateful for them. Like previously mentioned, I don’t have a dad, however I am so incredibly grateful that I have a mom. Stop letting your sadness define who you are because all of you are amazing humans being with SO much extraordinary potential to accomplish anything and everything you want. I hope this helped you to realize that when it feels like nothing is going right for you, there will always be at least one thing that is. Whether you realize it at the moment or not. Gratitude is wine for the soul, so go on and get drunk!-(Rumi)

-Katie